I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
