You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
