You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
