I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
