he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
