We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
