Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
