lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
