morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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