I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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