awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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