HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Randomize
