no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
