Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
