Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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