There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
