she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
