she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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