The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
