PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
