my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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