walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
