but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
