my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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