love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
