I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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