Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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