During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
