So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
