the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
