Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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