kristin has been a bad kristin
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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