im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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