He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
