I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
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