Sponge bath it is.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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