Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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