just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
