Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
