I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
