I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize