don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
