I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
