um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
