We're like a lot better than the average bears
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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