So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
