Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
