I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
