he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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