Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
