I cockslap morals
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
