i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
