new low.... made out with someone while peeing
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
