He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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