Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
