please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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