Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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