I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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