I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Randomize
