bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
