Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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