You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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