Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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