I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
