Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
