you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Life without a bra equals bliss.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
