What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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